Cooper Bryce Richman: Born 4/14/15 at 11:11 pm. 7 lbs 1 oz, 19 1/2 inches long
Every birth story is so unique and individual. Some parents choose a hospital birth, some choose to have their babies at home; there's options for different types of medication to make the pain more bearable, and sometimes we choose to experience the pain. No matter what a parent chooses, the birth of their child is beautiful and divine. There is nothing more miraculous than the ability a woman has to grow, nurture, and birth another human being. I'm grateful to have been able to experience this with two little babes.
Bryce and I decided a long time ago that we wanted to have our next child at a birthing center. Birthing centers provide a safe environment for families who want a natural birth experience. We chose the Boise Women's Health and Birth Center in downtown Boise, with Charlotte Wilkes as our midwife. I was so excited to have a baby here! I looked forward to the comfort of a water birth and enjoyed every visit I made to the center.
Little Cooper sure threw us for a loop. He decided he wanted to come at 33 weeks, in a hurry to meet his family. However, once we wanted him to come, he changed his mind and decided to make us wait! (Perhaps a little tell about his personality??) At my 38 week appointment, I was dilated to a 3 and everything seemed ready to go, except for some reason, the little man just wasn't coming. Charlotte and I decided to strip my membranes to get things going and only 2 hours later I was heading back in, finally in labor.
By 8:30 I was stuck at a 5 and it didn't seem like things were going to move very quickly, despite the strong contractions I was having. So I made the difficult decision to break my water...which was a very painful and wrong decision I had made when in labor with Savannah. However, with Coop, I knew that he was ready to make his way into the world, and I could either have a very painful, but quick birth, or a less painful, but very long birth. I chose the shorter route. Immediately after breaking my water, my contractions jumped from 'painful but bearable' to 'please someone shoot me'. Sitting in the birthing tub, with Bryce right behind me supporting me every moment, I tried to weather the storm. The pain was just as bad as I remembered, if not worse. So many times I wanted to simply give up. With each contraction my body grew more and more tired and several times I collapsed from exhaustion, fading in and out of consciousness in between those awful pains. But I discovered a strength deep inside that I never realized was there.
In that quiet room I would chant to myself "I can do this, I can do this, I can do this" over and over and over again. For some reason, it gave me the energy and the belief that I really could do this, that I was strong enough to get through the excruciating pain. As I chanted, Charlotte would tell me, yes Haylee, you CAN do this! and Bryce would tell me how strong I was. Hearing these words helped me to keep going, but honestly, the real power came from within, from a place each woman is divinely gifted with.
After only a little over 2 hours after we broke my water, our son was ready to see the world. I followed Charlotte's instructions as she told me to listen to my body and then let me follow my instincts. I was never told when to push, or how to push, or how to hold my body. I simply did what felt natural. I pushed when I felt the need, and I held back when my body told me to stop. I held my son's head as I slowly pushed him from my body and it was the most amazing feeling when his head finally popped out! I was almost done! Kneeling in the water, I reached down and pulled my little man out with one last push and before I knew it he was in my arms. I couldn't believe I had just birthed my son all by myself! It was an incredible feeling to be in complete control, to know that I had somehow known exactly what to do.
The moment of joy quickly turned to fear as Charlotte stepped in the remove the tight cord from around his neck. That's when I realized he was blue and not breathing. We rubbed his body trying to get a response and after a few moments of a mother's worst nightmare, he began to take small ragged breaths. Once again, my child was taken from my arms before I could truly savor the wonderful moment of birth and rushed to the next room to receive some needed care. He was breathing but making grunting noises, often a sign of respiratory problems. I sat in the tub trying to see what was going on in the next room as the paramedics were called. To be safe, they decided to take him to the E.R. in case he truly was having respiratory problems. Despite the unfairness that my baby was taken from me again, I was so grateful for Charlotte's quick response and obvious goal to keep my son healthy, putting his needs above anything else. Bryce left in the ambulance with our little trooper and I stayed behind to recover before also making my way to the hospital. By the time I left the birthing center, baby was just fine. They had moved him to post-partem and we would stay overnight for observation. I was so happy that everything would be okay, knowing full well that things could have been worse.I couldn't believe how beautiful our little Cooper was! The surprise of having a dark haired, dark eyed little baby was amusing. He definitely did not take after his blonde haired, blue eyed big sister who was born without a single bit of fuzz. His face was without bruises and his head was just barely misshaped. It was as if he had just stepped down from heaven, as perfect as he was meant to be.
We adore him to pieces. I was happy and surprised by how easily he took to nursing. Our Coop is one good eater! He hasn't lost any weight in his almost one week of life, but continues to put on the pounds! I have a feeling he's going to be a chubby little monster.
I want to take a moment and share my thoughts on the birthing center experience. Firstly, despite the fact that Coop had to head to the hospital anyway, I would never have done anything differently. One important thing to have when you are doing a home or birthing center birth is to be sure that your midwife is experienced, educated, and has all the necessary skills to ensure a safe birth and a healthy child. Charlotte was more than qualified and I wouldn't hesitate to put my child's life in her hands again. Not only was she capable of handling the situation, with the equipment necessary to deal with any problems, but the ambulance service was down the road, with two hospitals minutes away.
Next, I want to share how amazing it is to have a water birth. Everyone's been asking me if being in the jacuzzi helped with the pain. The answer is NO. No matter where you have your baby, if you are doing it naturally, it's going to hurt! Don't expect anything different. It's going to hurt so badly that you will never ever ever want to experience it again. You will gladly stuff a billion pills down your own throat for just a single moment of relief.
But....
This is the room where I had Cooper
it's all worth it! The water may not get rid of the pain, but it provides other relief. It helps hold your body up and makes it easier to be in a more comfortable birthing position. Personally, laying back increases the pain for me, but sitting on my knees swaying side to side makes it more bearable. This is hard to do in a bed, particularly a hospital bed where you are encouraged to lay on your back with knees up. I was also able to hold onto handles and sort of stretch on my tummy in the water, which was beneficial towards the very end. Bryce was also able to be more involved, being in the water with me. Without him I don't think I could have gotten through everything. He was the support I needed in more ways than one. (Literally he kept me from accidentally drowning myself a few times haha).
Charlotte was incredible. I've never felt so much trust and faith from someone. She helped me to trust in myself. She never checked me after breaking my water. She never told me I was doing anything wrong. When she did speak it was with words of encouragement, telling me I was doing everything exactly right and to follow my instincts. She sat beside the tub, there if I needed her, but more than willing to let me do what I needed to do. Later she told me that she has never seen a woman birth her own child by pulling them out themselves. Apparently most women let the midwife do that. I laughed and told her I thought everyone who had a water birth caught their own baby! I was planning on doing that from the beginning but it made me feel good to hear that I had done something different. I felt so powerful! I can't truly describe how amazing it is to be so involved in the birth of your own child. At the hospital with Savannah I felt like I had no control over my own body, I felt like a bystander. At the birthing center with Cooper, I had complete control. I was powerful, I was involved, I did it all by myself with help from Heavenly Father. I was no bystander. I felt like one of those African women standing in the fields strong and amazing as she pops that baby out and then gets back to work!
I realized that as women, we are gifted with the ability to KNOW what to do. It's been ingrained through evolution! We only need trust ourselves and listen to our bodies. Don't let any doctor, any nurse, anyone take the power away from you. YOU know what to do. Don't doubt that for a moment. Take control of your births and don't relinquish it. Even when things go wrong and they don't work out the way you want, you can at least say that you played an integral role in the birth of your child. Don't be a bystander.
During the labor, I would have gladly taken medicine if it had been available haha But I don't think I can ever have another baby in a hospital out of choice. After my amazing experience, the pain is worth it. At the time, it doesn't feel that way, but looking back I have so much appreciation for what I went through. I can do hard things. I can successfully birth my own child. I can overcome the pain. I learned more about myself in two and a half hours of misery than I ever could with a pain-free birth. But that's just my personal take.
I'm so grateful for our beautiful boy who has already become a special part of our family. I'm grateful for Charlotte. I'm so so so grateful that God lead me to Bryce, who is the most amazing husband a person could ever hope for. I literally couldn't ask for a better father for my children. (It feels weird to say "children" plural!)
If you are thinking of having a natural birth, I strongly recommend Boise Women's Health and Birth Center. Trust me, it will be amazing! Just remember, there are a lot of birthing options. Research them and go with what you feel will be the best fit for you. Don't make a decision solely based on not wanting pain. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Believe it or not, you CAN do it, you just need the right environment and people around you.
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