The Disconnect Challenge

There's been something weighing heavily on my mind lately. My troubles with housecleaning, patience, and simply finding time to get things done always seem to point in one direction...right to the couch where my Mac laptop sits quietly and innocently on its cushion.

"How can a laptop cause the pile of laundry waiting to be folded?" you say, "What does being on the computer have to do with getting the dishes done" you ask.

don't they look just so happy?

Well, I'll tell you! Ever notice that as soon as you get a smidgeon of free time, you instantly go to the laptop, the ipad, or your smartphone? I know I do!

As soon as sweet little Savannah lays her obedient little head on her pillow (SNORT!) and goes to sleep (double SNORT) I plop my lazy butt on the couch and open up my friend. I even catch myself doing it when baby girl is playing on the floor at my feet.

sometimes i sneak candy crush on my phone behind her back when she's not looking.

i've even gone as far as distracting her with tempting toys and snacks so that I could cruise facebook just a moment longer.

hey, I can stop anytime I want!

all jokes aside, I'm discovering that the computer or even the phone can take precious moments away from my daughter. When she looks at me on my computer, what does she think? Am I setting both of us up for a bad relationship or the inability to connect emotionally simply because Farm Heroes Saga is a fun game?

I say all the time that my kids won't ever sit playing video games all day, and when I was a kid WE play OUTSIDE....and then I sit down on my Mac and finish stalking someone who I haven't seen in five years and will probably never see again. Hypocritical? um, yeah. What is stopping me from taking Savannah outside myself...it may be cold but there is such thing as a coat.

I am setting the example right now, and I'm ashamed to say, it's not a good one.

Not only that, but am I turning my child into an addict? Addiction runs in my family, but I've always been proud that I've managed to keep it out of my life...but have I really? Maybe I'm addicted to something that seems less menacing.

This is an interesting article about how parents' use of the computer, phone, or ipad can affect their lives as well as their children.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/9280194/Mobile-addict-parents-guilty-of-child-neglect-warns-psychologist.html

Here's another!

http://www.aap.org/en-us/advocacy-and-policy/aap-health-initiatives/Pages/Media-and-Children.aspx

I could give you a dozen more.

Well, enough is enough!

It's time for a good ol' detoxification. I'm going to go an entire week without using my computer once. I'm going to turn it off, and put it away so it's out of sight and out of mind. It's gonna be hard. I keep trying to justify just having it when she goes to bed or just for a tv show, but in order for this to work, I have to totally disconnect. So you won't hear from me on Facebook, won't be getting any pics of Savannah...I know, you don't see enough of them! I will be using my phone for calls and texts and that's all. Bryce is joining me, except he is eliminating Netflix and Facebook as well as his favorite websites. He still has to use his computer for school but it will solely be for homework. Come next Tuesday I will post another blog report on, hopefully, what has changed.

Wish me luck! cause this is gonna be a tough one. As of right now, I'm entering The Disconnect Challenge. Feel free to join me and see how your life changes!

let's be honest

....being a mom is really hard for me. out of everyone I know, I always thought that I would just be this great natural. but i'm discovering that being a mom takes a lot of work and even more patience and learning. it's not easy in any way shape or form. it's not easy if you are a stay at home mom, and it's not easy if you are a working mom. it's not easy if you have one child or seven.

it's. not. easy.

and another thing. keeping a house clean when you have an 8 month old is close to impossible. especially when you have MY 8 month old who has been going through a phase of clinginess that increasingly worsens as she gets older. honestly, sometimes i just want to get in my car and disappear, just drive back to the easy college days when all I had to worry about was getting my homework done and gossiping with my friends. i look back and i miss that carefree person, i miss staying up late watching movies and painting nails. that's the honest truth.

i don't work out, my house is usually messy, my hair in disarray, and i wear pajamas instead of jeans. i have spit up on my shirt.

and you know what i realized today. i just don't care.

because i'm not perfect, and i have to stop berating myself each and every day for not being a supermodel, uber fit, multi tasking, great dressing woman.

because i'm a mom.

i'm a mom and i have a little girl who takes my breath away. i'm a mom and this tiny person needs me. She needs me to be A MOM and not a supermodel or a track star or a fashion icon.

so that means that sometimes i'm going leave the toys scattered across the floor because i feel like it. deal with it. i'm going to skip brushing my teeth some days and if you don't like it, stay away. i'm going to wear that spit up proudly because being a mom is messy

I'm not going to lie, i don't always like it.

but i love her and will always love her forever and ever.

so it means that i'll put up with the exhaustion and frustration and piles of dirty laundry. cause at the end of the day i can sit back and imagine the some time in the future when i'll be able to stay up late with my daughter watching a chick flick, painting each other's nails. and she'll tell me who she's crushing on and i'll teach her the true meaning of beauty. i'll get to send her off to her first dance and be right there next to her when she takes the hand of some very lucky man and begins a new life. i'll be at her side when she goes through the pains of childbirth and be one of the first people to hold her babies.

and the cycle will repeat.

because that's what this life is all about. it's not about dishes or hair or who can get the highest degree in college. it's not about the best paying job the number of places we've been.

it's about being a mom.